Dukkha Kink

truth: there is micro and macro dukkha arising constantly

dukkha (pronounced dook-gawh) is a cute sounding word in Pali, the sacred language of buddhism, meaning "hard to bear" ranging from slight dissatisfaction to intense suffering

i attended a silent buddhist meditation retreat over new years, and was instantly enamored with this word, my new favorite name for my old friend: dukkha

i started creating a game of silently naming the dukkha - all the subtle to acute moments of aversion ~ when the bell would wake us up for the morning sit 5:30 and i didn't want to get up out of the warm bed - dukkha! being cold and not being able to find my socks - dukkha! the dukkha of getting silent evil eyes from another meditator energetically reprimanding me for giggling, the dukkha of feeling guilty and projecting judgment from this person for not respecting noble silence

it helps to name these moments as dukkha, and to sit with it.

i'd get a hit of dopamine every time i recognized a situation or moment as dukkha with the understanding that i can sit with dukkha and dukkha transforms into awareness, spaciousness, and freedom

even though it sucks in the moment,

it's infinitely kind to sit with dukkha arising. being aware when dukkha is present. not lying to yourself that it's nothing. directing your attention inward to be unconditionally present with hot, cold, lumpy sensations of dissatisfaction and discontent
 

truth: there's an end to dukkha, and the way through is understanding it and feeling it 

many erroneously believe that feeling dukkha is a trap that'll lead to even more forever stuckness in dukkha. this is the disempowering belief that keeps the emotions trapped in the body. 

before directly experiencing for myself the full mind-body yes submission & surrender to feeling dukkha i was deeply afraid too.

i didn't want to go near that black hole, i was terrified of getting sucked into it

but first i had to get my mind on board that  s  l   o  w i n  g down and feeling the bad and ugly was good, because this was the way i was going to learn something new about myself.

every emotion presents itself to help you know yourself. someone in the meditation retreat asked about fear, "how do you overcome fear?" i liked the nun's apt response: you listen to it. fear will tell you not to walk into the dark alleyway, and sometimes it's a good thing to honor that.

when i dismissed my fear i missed out on what inner truth about myself i could learn from this emotion to make choices that are right for me.

emotions are currents of energy that need to flow like water

bit by bit you can create more space and allowance to slow down, feel, and let the emotional charge in the currents flow through you.

bit by bit you can generate a sense of empowerment every time you say yes to feeling what's here, and opening to the truth the emotion contains.

this is where dukkha kink comes in. how do you turn the helplessness and hopelessness in the face of dukkha, that causes so much dukkha avoidance and thus dukkha accumulation into a sacred self-awareness liberation practice?

❤️ by understanding that there is an end to dukkha. and the pathway there is through understanding and befriending it.

❤️ creating a welcoming space inside your body and mind to receive dukkha when it arises

❤️ finding pleasure in the knowing that opening to it is the work, building capacity to feel more every time dukkha pays a visit 

❤️ your earnest desire for freedom and peace for yourself and all beings
 

which paradoxically is birthed in dark dukkha moments of powerlessness
 

we exist in a reality of duality and contrast. there is no basis for what joy is without sadness, there'd be no appreciation of abundance without knowing scarcity, we can recognize in our bodies what deep fulfilling warm nourishing connection feels like in contrast to cold shut down lonely states of being.

so in this way, dukkha is your portal to freedom. you can't know what freedom is without dukkha. dukkha is the shadow counterpart and equally valuable partner that's highlighting the places where we're constricted and stuck. 
 

these are places that hold all the potential of more spaciousness, brightness, and goodness to enter your life.

wishing you many wonderful blessings this year as you open your heart's door to dukkha

❤️
kwonyin

listen to Mirror Moons, me & my friend silvia, fellow korean-american shadow integration guide & deep diver, talk on making peace with constant dukkha here